I had planned to write about the competition I've been immersed in for the past couple of months, but life has a funny way of shifting focus.
You see, I've had my fair share of marriages and divorces—three of each, to be precise. Despite these experiences, I found myself diving into another serious relationship soon after my last marriage. I thought it would be easier this time around, given our history together. But relationships, whether old or new, demand effort. You can't stop expressing love or neglecting your partner just because you're comfortable. If you started as a touchy-feely person, you should remain that way. So why do people become complacent in relationships? Perhaps it's because they assume their partner isn't going anywhere, so they stop putting in the work.
As for me, I tend to go to the opposite extreme in relationships. I become overly attached, losing sight of myself in the process. This happened in my last relationship. I became so fixated on his happiness that I neglected my own, resulting in mutual misery. I blamed him for my own issues, which led to arguments and resentment. I mistook obsession for love, but in reality, I was driving us both crazy. It was time for me to step back and reassess my priorities. I couldn't continue losing myself while expecting someone else to fill the void.
So, I took a hiatus to reflect on my life and why I was feeling this way. I realized that I had allowed past traumas to dictate my actions, stifling my happiness and sense of self. I remembered that I was happiest when I was pursuing my education, so I decided to enroll in college classes. I needed to change my perspective before I lost my mind completely. I communicated this to my boyfriend, explaining that I needed time to work on myself before I could be in a healthy relationship.
Depression has a funny way of hijacking your thoughts and emotions. One day, you're drowning in sadness, unable to muster the energy to even get out of bed. The next, you're ready to conquer the world. Today, I woke up feeling empowered, determined to make the most of my day. I've taken a break from streaming all day, focusing instead on my mental health and well-being. It feels liberating to reclaim control over my life.
Now that I'm finding my footing again, I can prioritize my health and responsibilities without sacrificing my happiness. I've learned the importance of setting boundaries and not losing myself in the process. Today has been productive—I've had a photoshoot, cleaned my house, written this blog, and even made time for some football.
So, as I kick back and enjoy the game, I'm reminded of the importance of self-care and balance in life.
Until next time,
Blessed Be,
Kandie Angel