In the wake of Covid-19, my world crumbled, leaving behind shattered dreams of a Parisian wedding and a blissful life that once seemed within reach. The pandemic's merciless grip halted everything, thrusting me into a limbo of uncertainty while my fiancé remained overseas, our plans disrupted beyond repair. Desperate for a semblance of normalcy, I made the bold decision to uproot my life from Colorado to Florida, clinging to the hope that a new beginning awaited us.
But amidst the chaos of relocation and the agony of separation, I stumbled down a treacherous path marked by regrettable choices that haunt me still. Each misstep, a painful reminder of my fallibility, yet I refuse to succumb to despair. Determined to rise above my mistakes, I forge ahead, albeit alone, for the once-promised reunion with my beloved proved to be a bitter disappointment.
Now, adrift in a sea of uncertainty, I find myself at a crossroads, grappling with the daunting task of rediscovering who I am in the aftermath of heartbreak. The person I once was seems a distant memory, lost in the wreckage of shattered dreams and unfulfilled promises. Depression, a shadowy specter that has plagued me for years, now looms larger than ever, threatening to consume me whole.
For too long, I've hidden behind a façade of strength, afraid to show the world the brokenness that lies beneath the surface. But the burden of pretense grows heavier with each passing day, suffocating me beneath its weight. I long to shed the mask of invincibility and reveal the raw, unfiltered truth of my pain.
Yet, even as I lay bare my soul for all to see, a gnawing fear gnashes at the edges of my resolve. Will they judge me? Will they turn away in disgust, unable to bear the sight of my brokenness? The thought of being rejected for my flaws fills me with a profound sense of shame, yet I cannot continue to hide behind false pretenses.
So here I stand, teetering on the brink of vulnerability, uncertain of what lies ahead. The road ahead is fraught with uncertainty, yet I refuse to cower in the face of adversity. For I am stronger than my pain, braver than my fears. And though the journey ahead may be arduous, I will not falter.
Until the next chapter unfolds,
Blessed be!
Kandie