When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore

I’ve been carrying a lot lately, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and I think I’ve finally reached the point where I need to let some of it out. Not for sympathy, not for validation, but because I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. Maybe my story will resonate with someone who’s been quietly battling their own heaviness too.

For the past few months, I’ve felt like I’ve been walking around in someone else’s body. I’ve been doing everything I normally do, creating content, posting, livestreaming, trying to keep up with my business, but something hasn’t felt right. It’s like I’ve been operating on autopilot. I show up, smile, interact, do the work, but inside, I feel disconnected from myself. And honestly, it’s been hard.

Stress builds slowly, especially when you’re used to pushing through it without a break. I didn’t notice how much it was affecting me until I looked around and realized I didn’t feel at home in my own mind anymore. I’ve felt unmotivated, foggy, emotionally sensitive, and overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks.

On top of all that, I’m going through a major life transition. I’ve made the decision to move away from Hawaii and return to Florida. This isn’t something I ever imagined doing so soon, but life has a way of changing the plan when you least expect it.

A big part of this move is for my dog, RoRo. He has an enlarged heart and can’t handle the stress or danger of flying again. If I want to be with him, and I do more than anything, I have to be the one to make the move. As hard as it is to say goodbye to Hawaii, I know in my heart this is the right choice. My dogs are more than pets. They’re my family. They’ve been with me through it all, and being apart from them while living here has left a hole in my heart I just can’t keep ignoring.

But beyond the move and the stress, I’ve also been struggling with something more personal and confusing. The emotional toll of temporary people.

I’ve met a few people through YouTube over the past year who I considered genuine friends. Tyler and Corey were two of them. They came into my life during moments when I really needed connection. We had real conversations, shared laughs, and built what I thought were solid friendships. Then, without warning, they both just kind of faded out.

There wasn’t any drama. No argument. No explanation. Just silence.

And I’m left sitting with this feeling of confusion. Wondering what changed. Wondering if it was something I did. Wondering why people come into your life, make a space for themselves, and then disappear like none of it mattered.

It’s not about romance or relationships. It’s about friendship, and how much it hurts when someone you trusted just stops showing up.

All of these changes and emotions have taken a toll on my mental health. I’ve struggled with motivation. I’ve questioned everything. My purpose, my path, my energy, and whether I’m doing enough or being enough. There have been days where I wanted to give up, where even opening my laptop felt too heavy.

But I’m still here.

And I’m still choosing to keep moving forward, even if it’s slower than usual, even if it looks different than before.

Right now, I’m choosing to slow down. To step back from the noise and recenter myself. To be closer to the people and animals who love me. Not just when I’m strong, but when I’m quiet and trying to find my way back to peace.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for seeing me as a whole person, not just a highlight reel on a screen.

And if you’re going through something similar, please hear me when I say this. You are not weak for needing rest. You are not broken for feeling overwhelmed. You are not alone in your confusion.

We’re all figuring it out one day at a time. And right now, I’m just trying to honor my heart, even if it means letting go of places, people, and plans I thought would be forever.

I’ll still be creating. I’ll still be showing up. But I’ll be doing it differently now, with more intention, more honesty, and more love for myself.

If you want to support me during this transition, you can still find all my content, videos, digital downloads, and more at KandieAngel.com. Every little bit helps and means more than you know.

With love,Kandie 💕