Navigating Change and Finding Peace: My Journey

I've been carrying a lot lately—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I think I've finally reached the point where I need to let some of it out. Not for sympathy or validation, but because I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Maybe my story will resonate with someone who’s been quietly battling their own heaviness too.

Living in a Fog

For the past few months, I’ve felt like I’ve been walking around in someone else’s body. I’m still doing everything I usually do—creating content, posting, and livestreaming. I’m trying to keep up with my business, but something hasn’t felt right. It’s as if I’ve been operating on autopilot. I show up, smile, interact, and do the work, but inside, I feel disconnected from myself. Honestly, it’s been hard.

Stress builds slowly. When you’re used to pushing through it without a break, you may not realize its impact until it’s overwhelming. I didn’t notice how much it was affecting me until I looked around and realized I didn’t feel at home in my own mind anymore. I’ve felt unmotivated, foggy, and emotionally sensitive. Even the smallest tasks seem overwhelming.

A Major Life Transition

On top of this internal struggle, I’m facing a significant life transition. I’ve decided to move away from Hawaii and return to Florida. This isn’t something I ever imagined doing so soon, but life has a way of changing plans when you least expect it.

A big part of this move is for my dog, RoRo. He has an enlarged heart and can’t handle the stress or danger of flying again. If I want to be with him—and I do more than anything—I have to be the one to make the move. Even though saying goodbye to Hawaii is hard, I know in my heart this is the right choice. My dogs are more than pets; they’re my family. They've been with me through it all, and being apart from them while living here has left a hole in my heart I can’t keep ignoring.

The Emotional Toll of Temporary Connections

Beyond the move and the stress, I've been grappling with something even more personal and confusing: the emotional toll of temporary people.

I met a few individuals through YouTube over the past year whom I considered genuine friends. Tyler and Corey were particularly significant during moments when I really needed connection. We had deep conversations, shared laughs, and I thought we built solid friendships. However, without warning, they both faded away from my life.

There was no drama, no argument, no explanation—just silence. I’m left sitting with this sense of confusion. I wonder what changed. Did I do something wrong? Why do people come into your life, create a space for themselves, and then disappear as if none of it mattered?

It’s not about romance or relationships—it’s about friendship. It hurts when someone you trusted just stops showing up.

Impact on Mental Health

All of these changes and emotions have taken a toll on my mental health. I’ve struggled with motivation and questioned everything: my purpose, my path, my energy, and whether I’m doing enough or being enough. There have been days when I wanted to give up, times when even opening my laptop felt too heavy.

But I’m still here.

I’m still choosing to keep moving forward, even if it’s slower than usual and looks different than before. Right now, I’m choosing to slow down. I want to step back from the noise and recenter myself. I need to be closer to the people and animals who love me—not just when I’m strong, but when I’m quiet, trying to find my way back to peace.

Finding My Way Toward Peace

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Thank you for seeing me as a whole person, not just a highlight reel on a screen. If you’re going through something similar, please hear me: you are not weak for needing rest. You are not broken for feeling overwhelmed. You are not alone in your confusion.

We’re all figuring it out one day at a time. Right now, I’m just trying to honor my heart, even if it means letting go of places, people, and plans I thought would be forever.

But I will still be creating. I will still be showing up. However, I’ll be doing it differently now—with more intention, honesty, and love for myself.

If you want to support me during this transition, you can find all my content, videos, digital downloads, and more at KandieAngel.com. Every little bit helps and means more than you know.

With love,

Kandie 💕