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Journey Through Loss: Navigating Grief and New Beginnings

Updated: Apr 5

This month marks one of the toughest periods of my life, and as the years pass, it doesn't seem to get any easier. They say time heals all wounds, but I've learned firsthand that the pain of losing someone you love never truly fades. Each year, as February rolls around, it feels like an emotional onslaught as memories come flooding back.

On February 16, 2002, my world shattered with the passing of my Grandma. I never had the chance to say goodbye, learning the news late into the night after a long day at work. Holding my baby close, I wept alone in the living room, feeling a piece of myself slip away.

Since then, Valentine's Day holds a bittersweet memory as it marks the last time I spoke to her. Just days before her passing, my Grandpa left us on February 10, 2012, leaving me with the regret of not being by his side in his final moments. The pain deepened as both my grandparents were laid to rest on February 22, 2016, a day etched into my heart.

The losses didn't end there. In 2006, a dear friend was taken from us in a tragic car accident, leaving behind a young daughter. His passing drove me to withdraw from others, fearing the pain of loss. Despite finding moments of happiness amidst life's challenges – including divorces, relocations, and new beginnings – the losses kept mounting. Last year brought more heartache as friends and loved ones left this world, leaving me reeling from the weight of grief.

Navigating through grief while juggling career changes has become overwhelming. There are days when the burden feels too heavy to bear, and I find myself questioning the purpose of it all. The mental toll is evident as I struggle to find balance amidst the chaos. Yet, through it all, I'm reminded of the unwavering support of my boyfriend, who stands by me with love and reassurance.

Despite the challenges, I cling to the belief that every closed door brings an opportunity for growth. Losing my main source of income last year pushed me to embark on a new journey in construction, laying tile as a means to support myself. It's a reminder to be grateful for the roof over my head and the food on my table, even amidst the pain.

As I close this chapter, I'm reminded of the importance of self-compassion. Despite the pressure to be everything to everyone, I'm learning to prioritize my well-being and find solace in moments of quiet reflection. So, as I bid you all goodnight, I hope you find peace and comfort in the midst of life's challenges.

Until next time,

Blessed be,

Kandie Angel

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