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Reflections on Chaos: Navigating Life's Whirlwind in 2020 and Beyond

It's been a struggle to put pen to paper lately, and I can't quite pinpoint why. Despite the whirlwind of experiences I've been through, I find myself staring at a blank screen more often than not. You'd think finding something to write about would be effortless, but it's anything but. It's like searching for a needle in a haystack.

And when I finally do find a topic, the words come out disjointed, resembling the scribbles of a child learning to write. I find myself starting over multiple times or abandoning drafts altogether. It's hard to believe that 2020 has already come to a close. It's been a rollercoaster ride of a year for me—a year of monumental changes. From divorce to relocation, from Colorado to Florida, and from modeling to remarriage, it's safe to say that I've experienced it all.

As I sit on this flight from Houston back to Tampa after a photoshoot in Denver, I can't help but reflect on the whirlwind that has been this year. I've traveled more for shoots in the past twelve months than I have in my entire thirteen-year modeling career combined. But now, exhaustion sets in, and all I yearn for is the comfort of home, surrounded by loved ones. Yet, work keeps me on my toes, leaving little time for rest or relaxation. The stress of bills and the uncertainty of future shoots weigh heavy on my mind. But amidst the chaos, there have been bright spots. The growth of my fanbase through live chats has been beyond my wildest dreams. Even with setbacks like the banning of one of my accounts, I'm pushing forward, exploring the possibility of creating my own social media platform.

But with success comes sacrifice, and lately, I've neglected self-care in favor of work. It's a cycle of non-stop hustle, leaving little time for the things that truly matter. Yet, as the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve, I find solace in the company of my fans, engaging in spirited conversations that spark joy.

As I bid farewell to 2020 and usher in the new year, I'm reminded of the importance of balance. So tonight, I'll chat with my followers before retiring for some much-needed rest. Tomorrow brings more celebrations—a friend's birthday and dinner plans. It's a reminder to cherish the moments, to find joy in the chaos, and to embrace whatever the future holds.

So here's to 2021—a year of happiness, prosperity, and new beginnings. May it be filled with blessings and opportunities for us all.

Until next time, stay blessed.


Kandie Angel

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