2020-02-18

Being a Mom from Childhood, through to Adult Years

Life, and the crazy....

When I was a young girl, I always dreamed of becoming a mother one day. I remember playing with my dolls, thinking that one day I would care for that child, love that child, and never ever do anything to hurt that child. I just wanted to protect my future child from harm. Then when I became a bit older, into my teen years, I start to really fantasize about being a mother to a baby. My hormones were raging through my teen years, so naturally a young girls body starts to feel an urge to be a mother.

It’s the instinct of a woman’s body as they are growing. Which led me to becoming engaged at a young age to try to have children. I succeeded in getting pregnant at 16, but then had a miscarriage a couple months later. After I lost the baby, I forgot for a while about wanting to be a mom because the pain I felt from the loss. A few years went by, and I got pregnant again when I was 19. I ended up having another miscarriage a few months later as well, and thought at that point, maybe I was unable to have children.

Another year went by, and I just happen to meet a man I ended up marrying. After eight months of marriage, I was pregnant! I think that the universe might have had other plans for me through the previous two pregnancies, but I wasn't questioning it. I ended up having a healthy baby boy the next October. I did however find out that I had uterine, ovarian, and cervical cancer, which was the cause of the other two miscarriages. After that, I suffered with cancer until I was 31 years old. That was until the day the doctors finally told me that I am free an clear of cancer!

Being a mom to little ones was hard while going through this, but it got easier as time went on. My boys are both almost fully grown now, learning how to be people in this world. I watch my youngest, who will be 17 this year (2020), and I am amazed at how grown he has become. It's beautiful, as well as a little sad to watch them grow because they were so small in the beginning. I just wish I could do a few things over again, so I could take advantage of the time better. It went so fast, and now my oldest is graduating high school this year.

I didn't think I would be ready for them to grow up and become adults, but I am enjoying watching them become the men they are meant to be. My youngest is going through the phase of wanting to start dating now, and my oldest is at the point where everyone is wrong, and he knows everything. It's funny how stubborn he is, as well as how stubborn I use to be. I was just like that; hard headed and stubborn as ever.

I think the hardest part about motherhood, is learning to let go when it's time to let them be on their own. I have transitioned pretty well for the most part because my oldest son moved to his dad's house last year, and I had to get use to him not being here all the time, but it's still lonely when I want him here. I think I will handle it a little easier when my youngest son decides to move out on his own because I have had time to prepare with my oldest son, but it's still going to be a bit sad. The advice I am going to give today is, be patient. No matter how hard things get, everything is easier with time and patience!