2020-02-16

Grandma

I will never forget

Today I wanted to take the time to write about my Grandma. When I was little, she would always be the one to go to when everything was bad. I remember she would always be in the kitchen on thanksgiving, cooking away making her famous homemade noodles. She was also very strict, but the nicest woman you could ever meet. I remember that she use to be the most beautiful red-headed woman, with these piercing blue eyes that were like crystals.

She always knew how to make you smile, even when it all seemed so lost. I always loved going to Grandma's house. The reason why I wanted to take this time to dedicate this blog to her because she passed away this month, eighteen years ago. Tomorrow which will be February 16th, was the day she passed away back in 2002. The last day I ever spoke to her before she passed, was valentines day two days before her death. I was just going to write a blog about valentines day, but she is the reason I stopped celebrating it.

When Grandma passed away, it tore a hole in my heart, that I have yet to mend to this very day. I always have a hard time in February because not only did my Grandma die, but so did my Grandpa, as well as one of my aunts. My Grandpa passed away on the 10th of February in 2012, and my aunt Pam passed on February 22, 2016. The reason I decided to write this about my Grandma, and not my grandpa, or aunt, is because she's been gone longer, and it has bothered me more from the last day I talked to her.

When Grandma was about to let go, my whole family, every cousin, aunt, uncle, brother, and parent was there. Not one of them called me until after she passed away. They were all there to witness her taking her last breathe, while I was at work just starting my shift. My mom was the one that called my house, and told my ex husband wat had happened. Instead of him calling me at work to tell me the bad news so that I could come home, he let me work until almost midnight that night.

When I got home, he just casually told me that my Grandma had died, and went to bed. I was truly in shock at that very moment, and I just sat while holding my four month old in my arms. I couldn't even cry. I didn't really know what had happened, all I knew was that my Grandma was gone forever! When I went to her funeral, I went with my four month old son, while my husband decided to go to work instead of being supportive.

I broke down in the funeral home, when I walked up to pay my respects. She seemed so cold, and it didn't seem real at all. I will never forget that day, it was one of the worst days of my life. Sadly it was the only bad day I have had, but that is for another day. I never got to say goodbye, so right to this very day, it still bothers me 18 years later.